Gripe

I have been asked a million times in the past month what I want for Christmas. I am having a hard time with this. We have no room to put anything. Our house is already overflowing and then some how we have to make room for a baby.

My dad asked the question last night what I wanted. I ended up getting upset. I would like to start buying stuff for the baby but what can I buy when I don't know what we are having. I don't even feel like I am pregnant other than having a little sickness and that is starting to go away. It's like the only time I know I'm pregnant is when I go to the doctor. I've been getting upset because I'm anxious and there is nothing I can do about it.

It's hard being pregnant. I wish there was some kind of connection with the baby but I don't have any because I don't feel pregnant. I want to sit back and enjoy this time in my life but I'm finding that hard to do. When do you ever actually feel like something is growing inside you? When do you ever feel safe about the baby? When do you start enjoying the pregnancy?

I hope ya'll don't think I'm depressed. That is not it. I'm just anxious with no patience and very moody. I am going to have to learn patience if I'm going to have a little one around.